IMG_2251.JPG

Hi!

I created this blog to document my journey in eating disorder recovery. My goal is to share my story while hopefully helping others who are going through similar challenges.

I hope you enjoy.

Working Towards Self-Acceptance

Working Towards Self-Acceptance

I saw a quote floating around social media last week and I couldn’t help but share it. Truthfully, I cried when I read it. I cried at the accuracy of the statement and at the power the words held in relation to my own experiences.

IMG_3774.jpg

My eating disorder’s golden rule is to have me eat as little as possible. Essentially, before entering treatment, I was starving myself. No matter how much I willed to get better and improve my quality of life, I was stuck in a vicious cycle of starvation. I wanted to break free from it so badly, but I was held prisoner by the thoughts in my head.

Why did I starve myself? Some of it was habitual. After ten years of anorexia, there were some unhealthy habits that I just couldn’t quite get out of. But a lot of what I was doing was fuelled by my complete and utter disregard for my worth. “I hate myself” was a phrase I caught myself saying way too often. However, until I read this quote, I didn’t quite realize the magnitude of what I was doing.

I would never, ever starve someone to death. So why was I doing it to myself? I must hate myself a whole lot.

Now, I am working to undo the feelings and behaviour patterns of self-hatred. I can’t quite say I love myself. I don’t even really accept myself yet. I am learning, though, to tolerate. To tolerate not only my body and my weight, but also who I am as a person.

Eating disorders are mean. They are nasty illnesses that rob us of the many simple pleasures in life. It’s hard to manage a life when you have a critical voice nagging at you every day of the week. Recovery is not an easy process, and sometimes I wonder why, ten years later, I haven’t given up yet. But something is keeping me going. Something is keeping me in the fight. And I’m sure there are reasons for you to fight back, too.

I'm Home / Life After Discharge From Inpatient

I'm Home / Life After Discharge From Inpatient

What Happens When I Sit Down To Eat

What Happens When I Sit Down To Eat