5 Things I Am Thankful For This Thanksgiving
Spending this Thanksgiving in treatment is not ideal, but I am choosing to be thankful regardless. I am thankful for the opportunity I received to have a place here, and I am motivated more than ever to get myself back on track and step into the life I envisioned for myself as a teenager and young adult. Here is my “not-so-serious, but still pretty accurate” list of 5 things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I truly believe that coffee is one of life’s simple pleasures. The smell, the taste, the warm feeling you get when you take that first sip on a cold Fall morning… I could go on forever. Not only am I thankful for this delicious beverage, I am appreciative of the social gatherings that take place in coffee shops across the globe. “Want to go for coffee?” is a question I almost always answer YES to. Socializing over coffee is probably one of my favourite hobbies, and coffee will always have a special place in my heart - any time of year.
Mindfulness in the morning
I’ve been feeling very anxious these days, which makes sense, given that I am confronting some of my biggest fears on a daily basis. When I get extremely anxious, I experience some form of dissociation, where I am completely removed from the present moment. There are no thoughts that run through my mind when I dissociate - I am simply “not there”. My mind feels empty and my surroundings feel surreal.
After speaking with my primary therapist here, I decided to incorporate some form of mindfulness into my morning routine. Before breakfast, I take a few minutes to myself. I put on my Fall jacket and head outside, and I take a couple deep breaths of fresh air. I leave my phone behind, and I really focus all of my energy on the present moment. To tell you the truth, mindfulness in the morning has become one of my favourite parts of the day. I really look forward to it and I am very happy that it has become a positive, healthy coping skill for me.
I’ve had many health issues this year, including being hospitalized for anorexia (both inpatient and in a day hospital) and having to get iron administered intravenously because my levels were extremely low. There have been moments where I have been so close to giving up on health, and life, completely. However, I am happy to say that I am still here, fighting for recovery, and fighting for my life. Being in treatment is extremely taxing, mentally, physically, and emotionally, but I am (for once) prioritizing myself and my health. It hasn’t been an easy road this year, but I can finally say I’m on the upswing.
For those of you who remember, I was very apprehensive about turning 30. In the weeks leading up to my birthday, I began comparing my life to others, and pinpointing all of the areas where I was falling short. I was left feeling ashamed that I was entering this new decade yet failing to meet many milestones that my friends were reaching in their own lives. As an added layer of distress, I felt guilty for turning another year older when mental illness had taken the lives of others I have crossed paths with throughout this recovery journey. Yet, despite all the apprehension surrounding my birthday, I was able to enjoy and celebrate with loved ones. I took time to reflect on my twenties, wrote a blog post about turning 30, and was even featured in an article for the National Post written by one of my high school friends. Not a bad way to start a new decade!
This blog and all of my readers
I honestly don’t think I would have made it this far in my recovery journey if it weren’t for this blog and all of you, my readers. I am so grateful that you have allowed me to use this online platform as a space where I can share my story. I thank each and every one of you for reading my posts and for leaving me feedback when my writing speaks to you. I am looking forward to continuing to make Recovery By Meghan a safe space for everyone. Thank you for opening up my blog on your laptops, computers, tablets, and phones, and for allowing my writing into your busy, day-to-day lives.
What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? Let me know in the comments. I’ll be checking them regularly! :)